Sunday, September 21, 2008

there's no wrong way to eat a rhesus.

Hello, wake up: GOOD MORNING. Izzle Bizzle welcomes our prodigal readers back to this vortex of sound and vision with this inspiring vista:

This is the estate of Mr. James Madison, which is near the estate of Mr. Thomas Jefferson, which is near the estates of other dead white guys with lots o' land and a handful of slaves. Madison's grounds were beautiful as was Jefferson's homestead, Monticello. One piece of advice: if you decide to visit central Virginia in midsummer, bring a whole pack of sugary popsicles to rub all over your arms and legs to keep cool 'cause it was hotter than the devil's horns down there.

Speaking of the devil's horns, we gave Isobel a post punk, indie-tastic mohawk that would make Sid Vicious blush in admiration. When we asked if she wanted more food she kept saying "Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Christina has a new sister in law who is named Casey and is not the one in the suit with the short hair (psssst...that's her brother Robert, you jokers). They got married to compete with us, or so it is rumored around the Shiffler court. It is also rumored that they may hire me as their family fashion, hair AND beauty consultant in the near future (HINT, HINT!)

Oppression in a double stroller: Johanna looks innocent as usual with Isobel giving her the visual strongarm.

Is that my baby laying the mighty smackdown on that poor, defenseless cougar? The cougar is a symbol of weakness, listlessness and shame. A baby could conquer it!

We found these guys passed out in the Walmart parking lot after a night of heavy battle reenacting. They were actually getting into their very nerdy roles by speaking with pirate and Scottish accents which probably someone found amusing. I think the guys in the foreground look like rejects from the Priates of the Carribean franshise.

This dress has a long, storied history that begins with an ancient Chinese jade ring, a rhesus monkey, and a sack of cursed gold. We had to bargain the retirement account of one of our readers and promise to never speak of the curse in order to get it. Also, it has some real cute little flowers on it.

3 comments:

theriddle said...

I wish you guys posted more often. You are hilarious.

benielle said...

did a bat land on your upper lip?

Nicole said...

brooke, keep 'em coming. and welcome back to the world of blogging. i thought you were ship wrecked, or something.