Welcome, welcome. It is said that all good things must come to an end, but this blog post probably won't come to an end soon enough for most of you. Here is a picture that says it better than any drunk Irish clown can:
Isobel Emeline Shiffler is a nice kid who plays by the rulz, keeps a clean nose but secretly has a rebellious side so wild and dastardly that she has to hide it with innocent poses such as this one. It should be noted that this picture was not posed, ladies and gentlemen, it is unrehearsed and presented to you for the first time:
Hail to the Germans that brought the earth two world wars, wiener schnitzel, and some really good eurotrash electro pop like FALCO. This here is our wheels made by our buddies in da Vaterland-it gets us from point A to point B. Point A stands for astute aardvarks astounding amicable ants along affable androgynous android armistices. Point B stands for Bob.
SHE KIDNAPPED MY BABY! SHE KIDNAPPED MY BABY! No, wait...that's Isobel with my OTHER girlfriend, Christina.
Caroline (pictured left) has a fiendish plan to give Isobel the seeds of the Naga Jolokia pepper as part of her plot to render Isobel's taste buds inoperable (the seeds are unseen in Caroline's hands). Once this is accomplished, Isobel will no longer have the ability to participate in the monthly Shiffler "Just try and eat your weight in chocolate!!!!!" contest where Isobel has won for 5 straight months. Then Caroline will proclaim herself "Master of Chocolate" (her title, not mine). Caroline is about to carry out the deed while Isobel looks on, helpless.
Here the model bears a striking resemblance to Linda Evengelista, but without any of the unsightly emotional baggage.
Isobel declares "Anarchy in the UK!"
Isobel the human harmonica.
Also, we need money. Small bills, without a bothersome tracking device like the last sack of dough we received (you know who you are).